Monday, January 31, 2005

Pornoheft announces new studio album

The new record is the most powerful, most extraordinary Pornoheft CD ever to be released. Where Live at Vintage used a 17,000 pound thrust Rolls-Rock Avlon 302 guitar played by Vink Sperber, the new album is the first to use not one, but two guitars. These will initially be Rolls-Rock Spey 9002s played by Sif Dishes, each producing up to 23,000 pounds of thrust. Sif Dishes has acquired two of them, but also has two even more powerful 9005 units that can generate up to 29,000 lb of thrust for use in studio environment. The new album thus has the speed of nearly 1.100 bpm, or 61.000 bph. Its initial performance estimates suggest it will accelerate from standstill to 100 bpm in four seconds or 0-600 bpm in 11 seconds. Within five songs it will then reach its maximum speed of 1.085 bpm. Watch out for global release dates.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Pornoheft is back from vacation

Pornoheft is back from vacation and busy. Various revised reports now show that Pornoheft is in the studio. That's why Pornoheft Research Lab's latest survey of Pornoheft's activities shows the January index of up to 160.8, on an index where 50 separates expansion from contraction. More important, Pornoheft are planning to play more; the 90-day performing index rose to 64.3. Analysts believe that the first quarter of 2005 should bring with it a lot more Pornoheft activities, progress on the export front, industrial sector activity, and ultimately a little more speed processing. The economists reckon Pornoheft will reach its best performance in 2005-2006 since 1989-1990. This story is based on data collected monthly by Pornoheft Research Lab.